I Left a Dozen Roses on Your Grave Today
by Sailor Girl3
Summary: Hey Lucy, I remember your name, and I still love you, and I'm sorry about the Capitol and what they did. I have to live with the choices I made, but I can't love with myself today.  Songfic- Lucy by Skillet.


**Today, I was cleaning out one of my drawers- the one with almost all of my writing stuff in it. And I was listening to Lucy by Skillet. And this hits me. If you haven't heard this song, listen to it. When I heard it the first time, I immediately thought of Haymitch. But, because of my inability to write decent summaries or come up with titles, I hade my friend, PotterZombie (Ninja, to those of you who know who I'm talking about), write the summary, and I took a line of the song for the title. I hope you like it.**

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><p><strong>I don't own Lucy (Skillet) or Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins).<strong>

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><p>"…<em>My mother and younger brother. My girl. They were all dead two weeks after I was crowned victor. Because of that stunt I pulled with the force field….Snow has no one to use against me."<em>

Mockingjay, page 172

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><p><strong>Hey Lucy, I remember your name<strong>

People think I've moved on. It's been nearly twenty six years. I'll never forget you.

**I left a dozen roses on your grave today  
>I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away<br>I just came to talk for a while, got some things I need to say**

Every year. Reaping day. Your birthday. The day that you died.

Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her

It's all over now, Lucy. Everything. The Capitol, the Games…

**I'd give up all the world to see  
>That little piece of Heaven looking back at me<br>**

I'm not sure how much longer I can go on, Lucy. I need you.

**Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her  
>I've gotta live with the choices I made<strong>

My choice to lead that girl from District one to the force field. Isabel Montanaro. One of the few from her district with a somewhat regular name. My choice to duck her axe.

**And I can't live with myself today**

I caused your death, Lucy. Yours and my mom's and Darnell's…

**Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday**

Every year. You'd be forty one this year.

**They said it'd bring some closure to say your name**

It doesn't, sweetheart. I've been trying it for twenty six years. I blame those stupid psychiatrists.

**I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance**

I would. I'd die, rather than have you killed for me. I'd do it then and I'd do it now. I thought it would be best for you if I came back… I was wrong.

**But all I got are these roses to give**

I know they were your favorite. I leave them. Every year. Three times a year.

**And they can't help me make amends**

Nothing will. Nothing ever will.

**Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her**  
><strong>I'd give up all the world to see<strong>  
><strong>That little piece of Heaven looking back at me<strong>

**Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her**  
><strong>I've gotta live with the choices I made<strong>  
><strong>And I can't live with myself today<strong>

I'm not sure how much longer I can do this, Lucy.

**Here we are, now you're in my arms**

Someday, sweetheart. Someday, hopefully soon…

**I never wanted anything so bad  
>Here we are for a brand new start<br>Living the life that we could've had**

If it hadn't been for the Capitol, we would be together. But they're gone now. Maybe, just maybe, we can be together _now_…

**Me and Lucy walking hand in hand**  
><strong>Me and Lucy never wanna end<strong>  
><strong>Just another moment in your eyes<strong>  
><strong>I'll see you in another life in Heaven<strong>

If only I were to make it to Heaven, Lucy. I've done awful things… Your blood, and the blood of Mom and Darnell and Isabel and even Maysilee… You remember her, don't you? From our year at school? If I hadn't let her leave… Maybe none of your blood would be on my hands.

**Where we never say goodbye**

**Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her**  
><strong>I'd give up all the world to see<strong>  
><strong>That little piece of Heaven looking back at me<strong>

**Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her**  
><strong>I've gotta live with the choices I made<strong>  
><strong>And I can't live with myself today<strong>

**Here we are, now you're in my arms**  
><strong>Here we are for a brand new start<strong>

This country just got its new start, sweetheart. When am I going to get mine?

**I got to live with the choices I've made  
>And I can't live with myself today<strong>

**Me and Lucy walking hand in hand**  
><strong>Me and Lucy never wanna end<strong>  
><strong>I've got to live with the choices I've made<strong>  
><strong>And I can't live with myself today<strong>

**Hey Lucy, I remember your name**

"Haymitch?" Katniss trudged through the snow behind her mentor. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to find closure," he swallowed a lump in his throat, pulling out the ear buds that Beetee had given him. To go with the small device he called an Ipod. One he had already put a song he thought Haymitch would need to hear. "You?"

"I saw you over here, by yourself. You can't hold onto everything forever, you know that, right?"

"I can try."


End file.
